Good Day

Hello all.  So far today has been a good day.  Its a beautiful day out, I'm off work, and I love being home with my family.  I don't remember waking up last night and don't remember any nightmares.

With PTSD I have good days and bad days.  We have to cherish the good days, we don't know how many good days we'll have.  Bad days are bad days and its hard to do anything about that without help.  But I'm not worried about my bad days right now, I'm not thinking about my next outburst of anger, and I'm not wondering about if I'll have a nightmare tonight.  I'm just thinking about my good day.  I think that might be some of our problem.  We have our bad days, and yes they are BAD, but when we have our good days, we still think and worry about our bad days and all the things that MIGHT happen.  I MIGHT have a flashback, I MIGHT have a nightmare, I MIGHT have an outburst of anger and take it out on someone I love.  Don't worry about the MIGHTS.  Worry about the RIGHT NOWS.  RIGHT NOW I'm enjoying the day with my kids, RIGHT NOW I'm feeling good, RIGHT NOW I'm not having a flashback or outburst.  I know, easier said than done, right?  I have a hard time heeding my own advice, but believe me, I'm trying.

It's hard to be happy with the right nows when so much seems to be going on.  In a previous post, I mentioned I had a seizure the neurologist believed was a result of a side effect of one of my meds.  I constantly worry now if I'm going to have another seizure.  I was off work for about 6 weeks and have been on light duty ever since.  The state took my driver's license away for 6 months (I feel like I got a DUI) so I can't be out on the street.  All I can think about is hoping I get my license back at the end of September and get back out on the street.  It's kind of funny though, despite what happened, its really helped being OFF the street for awhile.  Its given me time to focus on my therapy and relieve some burnout.  Although, I ride a Harley and pretty much will be missing the entire riding season.  Anyway, I'm not going to sit in front of a computer all day and you shouldn't either.  Afterall, I have a good day to enjoy and I hope you do, too!

And remember...

Above all else...SURVIVE